Jeremy Clarkson allegedly punched someone. So what?

If you aren’t freaking out about the recent Top Gear news, then close this page and go do something else with your life.

Unless you live under a rock, Romania, Mexico or Argentina, then you already know that superstar piss-er off-er, and Top Gear main man Jeremy Clarkson is allegedly suspended from the BBC, along with future airings of Top Gear Season 22. If you didn’t know and you just found out, then I’m sorry you had to hear this from me.

So big freaking deal, he threw a punch at a producer, clearly Clarkson doesn’t live by the “don’t bite the hand that feeds you” rule. Plus it’s not like he actually punched the guy! (that we know of). But maybe, it’s because he got away with punching Piers Morgan, and he thought he could get away with it again. Well—it turns out he didn’t. He said it himself back in May of 2014, “If I screw up again, I’ll be fired.” So I can’t help but tremble with fear that this could be the end of Top Gear. Heck, the end of Petrol Head TV as we know it.

Since Top Gear re-aired back in 2002, Clarkson has managed to royally piss-off a fair share of people, car manufacturers, union workers, government officials, and even entire countries. Hint: read my first paragraph. But as Jalopnik put it beautifully “The show is meant to be edgy and controversial and some will argue they’re just doing what’s expected of them” And I couldn’t agree more.

Here is a perfect example on why Top Gear is good for the people of the world: I recently had a conversation with a lady whom flip phone on-hand, drove across a Target parking lot, nearly colliding with 2 pedestrians and a snow plow, just to snap a photo of my STIG license plate. When she finally captured the coveted 1 megapixel photograph, she enthusiastically said OMG my boyfriend is gonna love this! And while I was still puzzled by the danger people were just exposed to so she could do the above-mentioned —it hit me. This is why Top Gear is king. So I did the right thing and placed my bags in the trunk, and walked up to her car to say hello. She then told me she watches Top Gear along with her 62 year old boyfriend, and love the jokes the “tall guy” Jeremy makes about the Stig. I can guarantee you this would’ve never taken place, had I registered a TGUSA or 5THGEAR license plate.

I’ve been lucky enough to meet Jeremy Clarkson in person, and that moment still goes down as one of the most memorable in my life. Mainly because it was a complete surprise, but also because I stepped on Richard Hammond’s foot… I dislike his whiny persona.

Join me in prayer tonight, as we ask for this to be a BBC publicity stunt to achieve record-breaking ratings for the last two episodes.

And on that bombshell, thanks for reading and good night everyone!