Lies I’ve Told My Kids

Lies I’ve Told My Kids

Let’s be honest, all parents have lied to their kids at some point or another. Whether we have to lie to protect our child’s innocence, to get our kids to do something or just to get a little bit of “me time”, we are just trying to make parenthood a little easier. Don’t try to hide it, we’ve all done it. And if you tell me you haven’t, I will know you are now lying to me. Our friendship will officially be over. Here are a few of the naughty little lies I may have told my kids a time or two in order to make it this far in life:

“If you don’t get your shoes on right now I’m leaving without you.” As if!  Where would I actually go without her? Legally, I can probably only go out into the back yard. Maybe the carport.

“That stuffed animal will be lonely if we take him from his friends. We better leave him here at the store.”  One more stuffed animal to pick up off the floor? No thanks!

“If you don’t stop_______, I’m going to turn this car around and drive straight home.” Of course this only happens on the days when we have to be someplace important like the doctor, the bank, or preschool.

“You have 30 seconds to get those toys cleaned up or I’m throwing them all away.” Yeah right. That’s a lot of work and I am far too tired for that kind of commitment.

“Eating carrots will allow you to see in the dark.” Seems legit.

“They don’t sell the replacement batteries for that toy, I’m sorry.” Pfft. Enough said.

“No, this is not a brownie. It’s a healthy bar full of protein and I think it even has broccoli in it. Do you want some?” Broccoli! It works every time. Suckas!

“Oh Sweetie, Chuck E Cheese’s is closed.” Cruel, but effective.

“If you do not stop playing with your food, I will take it away.” Sigh… Chances are if they aren’t eating it anyway, they aren’t really hungry or don’t want it. Duh.

“No, you can’t play with my phone. It’s dead.” Go read or book or play with some of those toys that I will never throw away!

“We’re all out of ice cream.” That is until you go to bed. Then it’s ice cream city up in this B.

And of course the most universal (and ironic) Mom Lie…

“I’m your mother, I would never lie to you!”

Don’t judge me. We all parent differently. Have you ever lied to your kids? If so, what did you lie to them about?