More than just a Mother

Listen to me. You are more than just a Mother. 

I’m Missi. On October 5, 2003, I became Missi, Nevaeh’s Mother. And since then, I’ve been sorta winging this whole Mom thing. And then came Josephine. Somehow I sort of lost Missi along the way and just became the girls’ Mom.

This is my declaration of imperfectness, my truthful confession that some may call selfish: I love my girls, but I am more than a Mother.

Recently, I had a slap of realization: I’m not feeding my passions in life. Or if I even had any left. I am turning 30 at the end of this year and it was time to make some changes. My entire being has been wrapped around the girls, and then a few months ago I read a quote that hit me like a ton of bricks. “God made you to be more than just a Mom”. 

I was happy with being a stay at home Mom and I made it my mission to be the best I could be. And when some things changed and I need to work more I was just fine with it. But it changed something inside of me. I felt like I now had a bigger purpose in life. This “some of the time” blogging wasn’t enough for me anymore. I wanted MORE! I wanted to make a name for myself that wasn’t just Mommy Missi. I just felt like there was more I wanted to do with my life in general.  Something BIG. Something amazing. Am I wasting my existence waiting for the next time my kids need me? What to do, what to do…

Why can’t I do all the things I love to do for my kids, still be there for them 110%, but still be something more. I was completely living for them.

When I would bring it up to friends I got a lot of:

“Being a Mom is the greatest thing you will ever do!“

“Be the best Mom you can be, the rest will fall into place.”

And of course they were right, but then it dawned on me.  I should not feel guilty for wanting more satisfaction from my life beyond being a mom. They will grow and have their own lives. They will call to check in every now and again, come home when they can, but ultimately they will develop their very own identities and I need to be the example. I would want them to be more than just Moms, so why not show them what that looks like.

So that’s exactly what I am doing. I am building my blog {my empire} one day at a time. I am going on press trips and attending conferences to show them that hard work really does pay off. And it is! For the first time in a really long time, I am finding my voice, my soul and so much more. I am finding my passions in life and it feels great.

I have had many blessings come along with blogging and I am so grateful that I pursued them. I’ve met some really awesome people and have taken some breathtaking trips. I mean, I get to interview celebrities for goodness sake! I attend major events and I get sneak peeks at the latest and greatest toys (for them).  I would never have done any of these things “just being Mom”. The best part is, I get to tell my girls all about it! I get to show them the pictures and when they are older they will see how cool their Mom really is. I hope that this will push them even hard to do great things.

My girls are the most important being in my entire life. I do, and will always, love them dearly. Wanting to find and maintain my own identity, to be Missi, who loves her daughters and herself, doesn’t change that for a second.

Words of advice to all of you amazing Mothers:

Stop feeling guilty for wanting to go away on a girl’s trip. Don’t worry if your kids will be ok without you for a few hours, they will! Make time for yourself and go get your hair done (without having them climb all over you). Continue your favorite hobby or get a new one. Don’t worry about what other Moms are doing. you are not them. Give them an amazing example and that’s the best YOU that you can be. If you don’t do these things, you WILL lose yourself, just like I did. And coming back from that feeling of not even recognizing yourself isn’t easy to recover from. It has taken me a really long time to come to this realization and I am so relieved that I have.

Dear children;

• I may be older, but I am still cool. Just ask your friends! I can’t say I know all of today’s latest dance moves, but I will always have a soft spot for “Baby Got Back“.

• The reason I have such an issue with the thought of you hanging out with all of your friends at a school football game is because I was your age once. Been there done that and I know the things that happen. Anything you can do I have probably already done. Don’t do it.

• I sometimes stretch the truth which is only acceptable for Moms to do…ok?

• I hid stuff from my Mom, too. NEWSFLASH: 9 out of 10 times, I will find out.

• Doing loads after loads of laundry, taking out the disgusting garbage, scrubbing icky toilets, making your bed, going to the doctor or dentist, algebra homework, etc.? I think all that stuff really sucks, too.This is life though and it doesn’t get any easier. So keep doing it!

• Listen to me. I don’t nag because it’s fun. I do it because I know what I am talking about. I am trying to prevent you from mistakes you don’t have to make.

• Always put God first and you will do just fine!

• Love each other always. You are Sisters and you should be best friends forever.

• Remember that there isn’t anything you can do to make me stop loving you unconditionally, so please don’t try to hard.

Love,

Mom

{ AKA Missi }